George: You ever notice your accent makes things sound worse than they actually are? You could give good news, and I'd still be like, “What happened? Am I still dying?"
Dr. Lars: I'm just trying to help you.
George: I know you sound like a regular Joe where you come from, but here I keep thinking you're gonna be torturing
James Bond later.
--
George: What are the older “Wieners” or Wieners like?
Ira: My parents are divorced. They hate each other. My mother thinks my father's the devil. I don't know what that makes me, technically, but...
George: So, you'll never be as funny as me.
Ira: Why not?
George: Your generation has the divorces, which is cute-funny, but my generation has the, "Oh, my God, my father's about to hit me with a bat!" You got to break out the funny a lot quicker than your little fuggy childhood.
--
George: She's not happy with you!
Clarke: No one who's married is happy, you idiot!
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喬治：你有沒有注意到，你的口音會讓事情聽起來更糟？你可能在說好消息，而我卻會想：怎麼了？我還是快死了嗎？
拉爾醫生：我只是想幫忙
喬治：我知道你在家鄉的話口音聽起來很正常，但在這裡我會一直覺得你就要去折磨詹姆斯龐德了。
--
喬治：老〝歪那〞或懷納人怎樣？
艾拉：我爸媽離婚了。他們互相憎恨，我媽認為我爸是惡魔。我不知道這樣生出來的我成了什麼，不過…
喬治：所以你永遠不會跟我一樣好笑。
艾拉：為什麼？
喬治：你那一代有的只是離婚，那只有可笑，但我這一代有「哇啊，我爸要用球棍打我！」你得拋開娘炮的過去，早點好笑起來
--
喬治：她跟你在一起不快樂！
克拉克：結了婚的人都不快樂，蠢蛋！
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